The Monster Killed the Melody
by Jacksgirl217
Summary: '"I'll only end up hurting you." Leon felt the soft whisper against his cheek as it moved the hair at his temple. Leon closed his eyes at the pain in Cloud's voice, hating that Cloud believed what was coming out of his mouth.' - Cloud is so ever insecure, but then again, so is Leon.


**A/N: Just a short little fic for today. I have moved all of my stories to Dreamwidth under the same penname, and will no longer be posting fics with a rating of M and over on this site. Any stories that I come up with that are below this rating will still be posted here. I hope most of you will follow me there.**

**The song is called Esmeralda and is by Ben Howard. Anyone who lives in Britain will know who Ben Howard is as this album was all over everywhere last summer, but maybe for the few of you across the big water, you will discover something new. I sincerely hope you take the time to listen to this song, because in my humble opinion it blows the freakin mind. Like all good poetry it takes a few listens to get it, but once you're in, it's all levels of awesome!**

**Happy reading. xxx**

* * *

'_Oh, blinded, now I see_

_That I could not hold you_

_My orange tree,_

_Left in the darkened room for three of us to share._

_Oh, maybe you were free,_

_Before my blackened wing covered you,_

_I took the sing from your song,_

_I made a bed,_

_Where you don't belong._

_Oh poor me, she fell beneath the wheels to help me up._

_Black Sea, I failed to be the light you found in love._

_Oh poor me, she fell beneath the wheels to help me up._

_Black Sea, the monster killed the melody you loved._

_Now I'm going places on my own.'_

* * *

**The Monster Killed the Melody.**

"Cloud!" The name came out in a desperate sort of panic. Though Leon's voice was laced with sleep the urgency could still be heard.

Cloud stopped, only inches from the door, his hand hovering over the handle that would have let him out into the night. The blonde tensed, his head bowed a little more at being caught. He didn't turn at his lovers call, only froze.

"Not again… not tonight." Leon begged. His voice sounded strained and tired. Hyne knew he was. How long had they been doing this? Too long the brunette thought. Way too long.

"I can't stay." Cloud responded, his back still to the older swordsman, their bed and the window. The moon's paleness slipped over the SOLDIER, turning his hair silvery. If Cloud could have seen it he would have thought it fitting.

"Why not?" Leon was angry. The words were bitten off in harsh tones, pushed out through gritted teeth.

"You know why, Leon." Cloud growled back, this time turning his whole body, finally looking at his lover sat up in their bed; sheets pooled around his waist, hair tousled and shining a milky chocolate in the insipid light of the moon. Cloud's anger faded.

"You know why." He repeated more softly, stepping closer to the bed.

"This is about her, isn't it?" Leon accused. He hated to sound jealous.

"Leon!" Cloud warned, his face darkening. Cloud stopped in his advance and stood looming over the bed, staring his fierce lover down.

"This is about making up for some Hyne-damned mistake you made that doesn't even matter now." Leon dared. They had never spoken of this before, even though both knew about it. Leon had never wanted to bring it up. "She's here. She didn't die, you don't have to make up for anything." He carried on, his voice becoming harder and harder like granite.

"Enough!" Cloud snapped; his voice loud and tight.

There was silence for a few moments as both fought to rein in their tempers, chests heaving under the strain of it.

"You don't know nearly as much as you think you do, _Squall._" Cloud spat the name like an insult, knowing it would wound. "This isn't just about her."

"You fucking dare?" Leon growled dangerously. "You fucking dare throw that at me when you're the one who's running away?"

"I'm not running." Cloud insisted, though his anger and defiance was beginning to fade with his faltering convictions. Was he running? He knew he owed Aerith, after failing her the way he did. He owed her safety and protection. He owed her Sephiroth's head.

"You're running away from me." He heard Leon say; the older man's voice edged just ever so slightly in insecurity.

Cloud sighed inwardly. He had known this would happen and he couldn't do it. When it came to it, after all he had done and promised himself. He couldn't pull away when he needed to. Cloud bent to place a kiss on Leon's lips suddenly and fiercely. His gloved hand came up to stroke a flushed cheek before tangling in soft hair, waiting for the return gesture.

Leon wrapped his arms around Cloud's shoulders, hardly caring anymore about appearances. He was needy; he needed Cloud.

"Don't go." He whispered against Cloud's lips as they pressed beautiful small kisses to Leon's. "Please." He begged again, quietly.

More silence as Leon felt the intensity of Cloud's torment. He could feel the younger man's indecision.

"I'll only end up hurting you." Leon felt the soft whisper against his cheek as it moved the hair at his temple. Leon closed his eyes at the pain in Cloud's voice, hating that Cloud believed what was coming out of his mouth.

"No you won't." Leon whispered back, pulling the smaller man down on to the bed with him.

Cloud let himself fall. It was half of Cloud's problem. It was his biggest weakness; needing someone, and oh how Leon knew! If there was one person who could possibly understand… Leon.

"Stop running." Leon commanded softly pulling Cloud closer, running hands through his hair and kissing his closed eyes, his cheeks, the tip of his nose and his brow idly.

And Cloud would. For tonight at least.

* * *

'_Blinded now I see_

_That death moves among us,_

_And with such ease the rafters surround us._

_These silent beasts are hard to bear._

_Lonely, oh, no not me_

_I have a grave to dig, fast moving feet._

_You gave me light_

_Where it once was gone._

_I made a bed,_

_Where you don't belong._

_Poor me, she fell beneath the wheels to help me up._

_Black Sea, I failed to be the light you found in love._

_Oh poor me, she fell beneath the wheels to help me up._

_Black Sea, the monster killed the melody you loved._

_Now I'm going places on my own.'_

_Esmeralda- Ben Howard._


End file.
